mustard and miscellany

A story of love and hate

As if mustard needed to be more fun… November 7, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mustard and Miscellany @ 12:55 am
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I mean, mustard is already pretty flipping fun all on its own, right? I sure think so. Mustard seriously makes my life more fun. No, that’s not a statement on how unfun my life is! It’s a statement on how bleeping fun mustard is!

But if for some reason, you think your mustard needs to be even MORE fun…well, I’ve found a few products for you. I suspect these are designed with children in mind but I don’t have kids. More importantly, why should kids get all the fun stuff?

You know who agrees with me? The aptly named Don’t fear, parents, they have stuff for actual kids, too. But a lot of the items on their awesome website are good for pretty much all ages. And mustard-friendly. Such as this…

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Now this isn’t a political blog in any way, but posting here the day after a pretty divisive presidential election…well, regardless of who you supported, we can all agree that stocking up on this kind of gun is a good idea, right? If only the gun itself came in yellow. But I suppose the red could make for a good decoy, lulling the silly, delusional mustard-haters out there into thinking they are getting ketchup and then BLAMMO – MUSTARD!!!!

We’ll convert ’em, those poor souls who don’t realize the error of their mustard-hating ways. Even if it takes a bit of weaponry.

Moving on to a condiment fun-maker that is slightly less violent but a bit…grosser…

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Mustard Marvin Spread Head. That’s his name. This guy goes on top of the mustard bottle and then, well, spews out mustard on demand. I can see this one appealing to the elementary school demographic. And also every adult I know. Schu might even like this product because Marvin’s face looks about like Schu’s face when he is confronted with mustard.

There’s evidently a Ketchup Charlie version, too. They’re demonstrated in this short video which also has a clip from the Rachael Ray show featuring…Joan Rivers with Mustard Marvin and Ketchup Charlie? Random.

I’d probably be one of those horrible, mean moms who wouldn’t buy this stuff for my kids because I’d be all “food should be eaten, not played with” and all that “manners” stuff (ugh, I know, it’s a good thing more people like me don’t have kids). Thankfully, Perpetual Kid has uptight-me covered with fun-but-not-violent-or-gross condiment holders to indoctrinate my hypothetical offspring into the world of mustard at an early age…

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CraYUMS – how cute is that? Just have to hide that red one until the little darlings are old enough to make their own informed decisions regarding ketchup. But mustard? They’d be getting it mixed in their first semi-solid foods! In their sippy cups! Heck, even diluted in their nightly bottle!

Yeah, it’s probably a good thing I’m not having kids.